How to manage anger

How to manage anger

What is anger? What are are the causes of anger? What are the best ways to manage anger? Theses are the questions asked by many people today. The urgency of this issue led to this article.

Anger is natural, yes! It could also be an instinctive response to a perceived threat, and sometimes could be essential to survive certain situations. But anger could become a serious issue when you have difficulty in managing  it. It could lead you to do or say things you would later regret. Uncontrolled anger is bad for your physical and mental health. If care is not taking , it could lead to a physical or verbal assault which might harm you or the people around you. Some people would even go to the extent of destroying properties and anything they can lay hands on at the time.

These bad attributes of anger are the reasons of the ways to manage anger should be understood. It may not be you who needs it, but it could be a friend, a relative or a co-worker, and then your knowledge could become helpful.


Many factors could trigger anger  in people, ranges from family problems, financial difficulties, stress, disorders like, depression, or even alcoholism.

Anger is not considered a disorder but it is a symptom for many mental disorders.
Some major causes of anger issues are as follows.

Anger is a symptom of depression caused by a feeling of sadness or loss of interest that may have lasted for at least two weeks. People can suppress or express their anger, and the amount of anger expressed differs from person to person.

This is a type of anxiety disorder where a person shows obsessive thoughts or compulsive behavior. A person with this type of disorder usually has disturbing thoughts, urges, or images that tend to drive them to do certain things. Sometimes such a person acts irrationally performing certain rituals like repeating some words or phrases, counting up to a number or something like that, this they do because they normally believe that something bad might happen if they don’t act that way.

Alcoholism means drinking too much alcohol either at once or regularly. Alcohol impedes your ability to think clearly, make rational decisions, and how you control your impulse thereby messing with your emotions.

This is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by things like inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. The symptoms normally show from childhood and throughout the person’s lifetime. Most times it may not be diagnosed until the person is an adult. This type of disorder is characterized by anger and short temper.

This is a type of disorder that causes constant shifts in your mood, people with bipolar disorder are likely to experience anger, irritability, and rage. Their periods of mood shifts can move from maniac to depression, though not everyone would experience depression.
During their maniac period, they may
* be easily agitated
* feel euphoric
* have racing thoughts
* engage in pulsive and reckless behavior
During a depression period, they may
* feel sad, hopeless and tearful
* loose interest in things they once enjoyed
* have suicidal thoughts

A person with this type of disorder is likely to experience episodes of aggressive, impulsive, and violent behaviors. They may react to situations with outbursts and overreact to situations. These episodes normally last less than 30 minutes and the persons feel angry and irritable most of the time.
Other common behaviors that go with this type of disorder include
* arguments
* temper tantrums
* fighting
* violence
* throwing things

Anger is an emotion everyone carries, but if you find it difficult to manage your anger, it turns to aggression, outburst, and eventually violence. This is why you need to find a way to manage it.


There are basically three types of anger issues

A) OUTWARD: this involves showing your anger in an obvious way like shouting, cursing, throwing and breaking things, verbal and physical abuse towards others.

B) INWARD: this is the anger you direct to yourself, it could involve negative self-talk, separating yourself from other people, self-harm, or even denying yourself of certain things you enjoy as a way of punishing yourself.

C) PASSIVE: This involves showing your anger in an indirect way, like giving someone the silent treatment, being sarcastic, snide remarks, and sulking.


Here are some effective ways you can control your anger issues

1: COUNTDOWN: start counting from 1-10, but if you are really furious, start the counting from 100 downwards.

2: TAKE BREATHER: take several deeps breathes and exhale, do this for about 30 seconds.

3: EXERCISE: take a walk, ride a bike, rope skipping, shuttle runs or do any exercise, it works because exercise relaxes your muscles

4: REPEAT A MANTRA: Find a word that works for you, a word that will help you focus and calm down and repeat this word whenever you are about getting angry. Words like “Relax” “stay calm” “you got this” “don’t do it” are all good examples.

5: STRETCH: Yoga-like non-strenuous movements like neck rolls and shoulder rolls could go a long way in harnessing your emotions and controlling your body

6: MENTAL ESCAPE: go into a room, close your eyes, visualize yourself in a relaxing scenario, and imagine things like how beautiful the countryside looks, living on a seaside, playing on the beach, etc. This practice can help calm your nerves in the midst of anger.

7: PLAY SOME MUSIC: Yes music! Just put on your headphones and play some tunes, let the music take your soul, and therefore take charge of your body and emotion.

8: STOP TALKING: Once the adrenaline rush starts, do well to keep your mouth shut. if you continue talking at this point, angry words and verbal abuses are likely to fly out. So pretend as if you are dumb or your lips are glued to each other. This buys you time to get hold of your emotions.

9: SPEND SOME TIME ALONE: Stay away from people once the provocation comes and the anger starts building. In fact this is very important to manage anger; avoid people and discussions that spark up your anger.

10: PICK YOUR PEN AND PAPER: Yes, once your emotion starts boiling, channel your anger energy to something productive by picking your pen and paper, and do some writing. You can write about how you are feeling at that moment, how you could have reacted, and how you would really prefer to react. Taking your time to write redirects your thoughts and also give you time to reassess the situation. In the end, it’s a win-win situation for you.

11: GET IT OUT OF VIEW: This is a good way of managing your anger, temporary getting the situation out of view helps you calm down and reassess the situation. Sometimes shutting the door or asking someone to take it out of view helps, let’s assume you are angry because of a mess a child or someone left behind, shutting the door or telling the kid to go away or take the stuff away would stop you from overreacting.

12: REHEARSE YOUR RESPONSE: rehearsing what you are going to say or how to approach the issues helps to curtail your anger and to prevent an outburst. Rehearsing your response gives you the time and chance to role-play and imagine certain possible scenarios that might play out. This makes you adequately prepared for possible outcome and eliminate the chances or violent response from you

13: TALK TO SOMEONE: Do not process the issue all alone, talking to someone gives you the chance to see the issue in a different light because the person would be viewing the event in a different light since he or she is not the one with the emotional burden. The person’s perspective of the event switches on the flashlights for you to re-assess the situation and probably review your response and prevent possible outbursts.

14: FIND A WAY TO LAUGH: the best way to diffuse a bad mood is by finding a good one. Once you fall into the bad mood and the anger starts boiling, look for a way to lighten up and find a laugh. You can do this by watching a comedy clip, looking at memes, or playing with some kids around.

15: FIND YOURSELF A REASON TO BE GRATEFUL: when everything around you seems bad, find yourself a reason to say “yeah! I got this one” focus on the positive things at this point, find a reason to live and move on and be grateful to the things you have done right and let them be your oxygen and springboard at that time. This is a very good tool to manage anger.

16: TRY EMPATHY: at such a point, try and put yourself in the other person’s shoes, put yourself in their position, and find reasons with them as well. This may give you a different understanding of the situation and help you find more reasons to forgive rather than react.

REMEMBER THIS: anger is an emotion everyone carries, but if you find it difficult to control your anger, it turns to aggression, outburst, and eventually violence. This is why you need to find a way to manage it.

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