There are absolutely myriads of important things in a relationship but we will focus on the 5 most important ones in this article.Relationship is a good thing; a pearl that brings completion, and that which must be treasured like rubies. Be that as it may, most relationships come with baggage’s, and even those that appear rosy from the start are once in a while tested under the fire of time. As time passes, and presents challenges, options and many more, we as humans evolve, and the feelings that we have for one another are put to test. This is not the time to despair but the time when we should cling to the most important things that really matters in a relationship. At that time where the physical beauty fades, feelings dwindles, opinions differ, and for many, finances comes crashing, with the tendency to engender doubts and indifference for one another, this is the time that we should retreat, reflect, and evaluate the basis upon which our feelings once grew and soared. No relationship is actually perfect but if we could understand the five most important things that matters in a relationship, it will provide us enough knowledge upon which we should start our relationships in the first place, and enough strength to weather all storms that may come knocking on our door as we progress and evolve as a people.
The 5 most important things in a relationship should be Love, Trust, Tolerance, Transparency and Support and we will take a moment to look at these points briefly.
Every relationship MUST be founded on love and this is why it is the nucleus of the 5 most important things in a relationship. This can never be compensated with something else or compromised. I could go on to give you the dictionary meaning of love which is an intense feeling of deep affection, but I will do more than that. Though this definition is not wrong in itself, it lacks tangibility. And for that reason I would start by saying that every love must have a foundation. I don’t want to diminish the concept of love at first sight but in my experience, I have come to realize that though one may have an intense unexplainable affection for someone at first sight, the feelings tends to settle months into the relationship when both parties have begun to know each other. Most times you realize that what you expected, and the fiery feelings that burned inside of you the first day you met, and possibly within few days or weeks into the relationship are gradually withering. This often times is because you’ve come to know that both of you don’t share the same values and possibly may not hold a healthy conversation for hours. With this reality, it’s safe to say that love is beyond an intense feeling of deep affection, especially at first sight. Love should have tangibility; reasons for which it is valid. Before you say you love someone, you must be able to state not less than five reasons for which you love them. Love can never be sustained in a vacuum, and if you try to shove this point aside, your relationship could be engulfed with sorrow or regrets along the way. Don’t ever say you love someone if you cannot state with cogent points why you love them. Why is this necessary you may ask? The answer is because when that relationship is attacked, it is those reasons that will give you the strength to hold on. It is those points that will remind you why it is important to work things out.
Trust is an important ingredient in every successful relationship though it’s become a rare commodity in relationships of today. A lot of people carry their past experiences from their previous relationships making new relationships even harder to succeed. In as much as experiences are essential in making relationships work, it’s also important to state that when one has a toxic relationship in the past; a relationship where trust was abused, and carries it over to the new relationship it becomes a very huge problem. Trust should be automated; born out of love. It shouldn’t come with struggle. When you love someone, trust comes freely. This is why the first component is of key importance to the flow of trust. In any relationship where love is built on fairytales and not substance, it’ll be very hard for trust to bolster.
If you must have a thriving relationship, make sure that trust is not sacrificed for anything. Don’t judge your present relationship with your past relationships. Rather, build trust on the strongholds (reasons) of your love for your partner.
One of the 5 most important things in any relationship is tolerance, and there are myriads of reasons to validate that. People have different habits and proclivities that start to show up along the line in a relationship. Most times, these tendencies may not be noticed in the beginning of the relationship but becomes more visible later. Without tolerance, a good relationship could be destroyed by minor habits that could be managed, but when you tolerate each other, with love you can deal with the minors without causing damage. For instance, I’ve seen a lot of people walk out of a relationship because their partner snore, does not cook well, or does not have good dress sense. I mean silly things which can easily be talked about and improved upon. Isn’t it laughable that a man could walk out of a peaceful and sweet relationship just because his girl doesn’t know how to cook in a world where cooking can be easily learned on Youtube without so much stress? Isn’t it ridiculous that a lady could walk out on a man who loves and adores her just because he snores? These things are what we witness in our society today; people placing much importance on the minors instead of the majors. This is all caused by intolerance. If you must have a thriving relationship, you must learn how to accommodate your partner and work together to proffer solutions for a robust relationship.
Communication falls in this space. In fact we could even replace the word transparency with communication for the purpose of this write-up. No relationship can survive the test of time without transparency. In layman’s term, transparency simply means telling things the way it is; not trying to sugar coat things or lie to impress your partner or make things smooth at the present. If you ever try this, it may come back to bite you in the future. To establish transparency in a relationship, communication must not be taking for granted. You must learn to sit down with your partner to discuss whatever you think you should know or do not like and would want to be changed. Don’t make the mistake of accepting things you do not like, assuming you will change it in the future as this may not work. Never think for your partner as it could be dangerous, rather ask questions.
Don’t ever live on presumptions; what you do not understand, don’t hesitate to verify unless your relationship is not serious. Nothing can ever take the place of communication in a relationship as it opens the floodgates of transparency. The beauty of transparency is that it presents you with what you’re about getting into, providing you the opportunity to decide whether to continue or walk away in time without getting hurt. But when there’s no communication, clarity will not be possible, and you know what happens when you blindly embark on a venture….it is mostly chaos!
The last but not the least is support and the 5 most important things in a relationship will not be complete without it. Before you enter into any relationship, understand that everyone needs support no matter how strong, intelligent, beautiful or smart they are. Don’t assume that you’re marrying a superman or superwoman who will not need support or commendation once in a while. Everyone has weakness and everyone is breakable, so make up your mind to be the shoulder your partner will lean on in the trying times. Learn to know when your partner is going through tough times and offer them that word, smile, idea, or encouragement they may require to push on. Don’t be the partner that will turn their backs when troubles and challenges come. One of the reasons support is an essential ingredient in this journey is because everybody remembers those who come through for them when they are in the valley, and also if people go through important phases in their lives without you being there for them they may possibly not find you necessary any longer. This creates a huge vacuum in a relationship and I’m sure you don’t want that.
Be that person their partner finds as integral part of their lives. This should not only apply in trying times. It could be you helping and encouraging them in their career, turning up for them in their big days, cheering them up and reaffirming how you believe in them, taking them out for a lunch or dinner just to appreciate how much they mean to you, and taking them out on the weekends for a movie after a long week of work. Find that supportive treat that re-validates your love and commitment to them. These simple gestures of love could make a whole lot of difference! When you walk on this path, you’ll not only have a good relationship but daily enjoy your relationship without quarrels and misunderstanding.
So if you’re thinking about entering into a relationship, mending a dying one or rekindling an ongoing relationship, you should consider these 5 most important things in a relationship and apply them. The result is guaranteed.